Loneliness, isolation, and a prayer for a friend answered

By Lisa Dean

I watched helplessly as my 18 month old son ran into the path of my 3 year old daughter’s oncoming swing. She sat strapped into a non-traditional swing, a type of chair made from hard plastic. I looked over my shoulder, temporarily distracted by the crowd of children clustered around the nearby monkey bars. 

When I looked back I only had enough time to gasp. My son ran directly into the path of my daughter’s oncoming swing, and before I could react the corner of the swing made impact with the side of his head. It knocked my son down and tears immediately began to flow, both from his eyes and mine. 

Another mom offered to continue swinging my daughter as I scooped up my baby and tried to comfort him. I carried him into the shade of a nearby pavilion away from the concerned looks of others. 

As I rocked him, I keenly felt my failure to keep him safe, and more than that, I felt the isolation of experiencing these emotions by myself.

For the past three years, I struggled with the loneliness that often settles into the lives of mothers with young children. My family lived close by, I had a church community and a number of acquaintances, but my heart longed for more. 

I desired deep friendship, to know and be known, a closeness based on a shared faith in Jesus.

Returning home 

In 2015, at five months pregnant, I moved with my husband to my hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. Despite growing up in this city, I found that the people I formerly knew had moved or lost touch over the years. 

Job changes, unpacking boxes, and preparations for a baby required all my focus and energy. I didn’t prioritize time for connecting with others and forging deep friendships. After the birth of my daughter and then my son two years later, I found myself tied to my home by naps and nursing sessions. 

When I emerged from the fog of caring for infants, I became acutely aware of my need for a deeper friendship, a best friend who could walk with me through this season. I became aware of my loneliness. 

During that time, I wrote:

“I am struggling with a dissatisfied heart. The thing that keeps coming up again and again is loneliness. When I speak to other women I can sense my desperate heart silently yelling, ‘Please be my friend! Please see that I am worth knowing!’

A prayerful intervention 

“Are you okay?” 

I heard the words from another mother from where I sat in the shade.

I was still holding my baby to my chest, embarrassed to be visibly upset by an incident at the park when I looked up through my tears at the woman approaching me. 

“I think he's ok,” I said. “It just looked so scary.” 

The woman offered comforting words and then the other mom, Beth, asked, “Can I pray for you?” 

Those words were like balm to my soul. At that moment I wasn't alone. 

She prayed for us, and after she left, I wondered if we’d ever connect at the park again. 

I retold our encounter many times over the following days, lamenting the hurt of my son but also encouraged by the kindness of a stranger. 

Two weeks later, I was walking across a parking lot to my car when I heard, “Lisa!” 

I turned and my brain struggled to place this friendly face. 

I never thought I would see Beth again, and if I did, I certainly didn't expect her to remember me. 

She was beaming, excited to cross paths again, and I was thrilled to exchange phone numbers and find that our lives shared so many circumstantial similarities. 

At that point I wasn't sure if a friendship would blossom, but I heard God whisper to my heart, “I see you. I remember you. I am providing for you.”

A new friend, an answered prayer 

From our first exchange of text messages, I knew that Beth would hold a special place in my life. 

We connected effortlessly, and I felt like I could talk with her for hours. During one of our earliest interactions, Beth invited me and my kids to her house for a playdate. 

Over the course of our conversation, she asked me to share my testimony of coming to know Jesus and vulnerably shared her own story. 

We cried and laughed together, tied by shared experiences, grief, and hope in Christ. Every time we interact, we express our thankfulness for one another and our awe that God amazingly brought us together.

My relationship continues to grow with my dear new friend, and every time she encourages me or prays for me, I see Jesus in her, walking with me and sharing life. 

Her presence in my life is a constant reminder of God's goodness.

I have little doubt in my mind that our friendship is an answered prayer. Even with the struggles of moving home, of loneliness and isolation, I know that God is infinite — and with infinite capacity to care about the details in our lives. 

I know, because on that hot summer day, God answered my long-awaited prayer for a friend. 

Lisa Dean is a writer, learner, and observer. She resides in Knoxville, Tennessee with her husband, Josh, and two children. When she's not playing with her kids, you can find her reading good books, sipping coffee, and trying out new recipes in the kitchen. You can find more of her writing at lisazdean.com or follow her on Twitter and Instagram @lisazdean.