I thought I was called to full-time ministry, but God showed me a different way<br/>

By Bree Blum

I wasn’t looking for a new job when I came across the opening of an executive director position at a small outreach ministry and retreat center, but with my prior work lining up so precisely, I felt that God was calling me to take a leap of faith.

I prayed Proverbs 3:5-6 daily and even listened to Lauren Daigle’s song, “Trust in You,” on my way to the interview. Still thinking of the chorus, I walked into the church where the interview was and faced a framed picture of Jesus with the words “Trust in the Lord” written at the bottom.

When I received the phone call to let me know that the search committee had come to a unanimous decision, I decided to do just as the picture had said and trust the Lord. I accepted the position with what felt like a lofty title.

For years I had led a tiny ministry, which felt like a side hustle, leading online book studies for Christian women. Stepping into full-time ministry had seemed out of reach, yet I couldn’t shake a desire to use my writing experience to reach into the lives of others through in-person events and retreats.

I was humbled by an opportunity to serve God while earning a paycheck. I was 33, comfortable in my West Virginia home in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, and ready to do God’s work full-time.

I had not even received the keys to my office when the chair of the Board of Directors called to share troubling news about the financial status of the organization -- which hadn’t been disclosed during the interview process.

With each passing week, new skeletons emerged from the proverbial closet to the point that it was almost comical.

If I didn’t laugh about it, I would have cried.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away

I was thrust into a situation that I was expected to clean up and manage single-handedly, as it was decided the truth of the matter should not be made public.

I spent 70-hour workweeks alone, slaving away at trying to keep the place functioning. When I asked for help, my requests were shot down or brushed off as insignificant.

There was no time to put in place the vision I was hired to implement, of incorporating more of a faith component into existing mission opportunities. There was only time for triage.

As a result, I found myself on the receiving end of criticism and verbal attacks that cut to the depths of my soul.

It felt like I went from the unanimous choice to Enemy No. 1.

To say that I was disappointed is a severe understatement.

My confidence and trust in others was shattered. My faith also received quite the blow.

Preach faith until you have it

Friends and family didn’t give up on me, thankfully.

At times, when the ugliness of my sin surfaced through angry outbursts and bitterness, they lovingly preached the Gospel to me.

Little by little, my shriveled faith began to grow again.

During a counseling meeting with my pastor, he told me that my dream didn’t need brick and mortar -- or a fancy title. In a digital world, I could pursue my dreams of writing and leading others to grow in their faith.

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, hope flickered to life within me.

It felt like it was God’s way of saying, “You’ve always had these gifts and passions. Now go do something with them!”

As my stress levels continued to climb, and anxiety attacks came crashing in waves, I began submitting job applications elsewhere.

I didn’t know what God wanted for me career-wise. But I did feel certain He wanted me to lead a ministry, but which ministry? And in what capacity? I suddenly wasn’t sure.

After much prayer, I decided to leave the organization, just shy of a year, after fulfilling my responsibilities to the mission teams I had spent months coordinating.

Sitting with my parents at their kitchen table, I submitted my two-week notice without another job lined up. And the three of us cried.

It was disappointing and heart-breaking. But once I had hit send, I felt at peace.

There was no way to know what was ahead, but I held tightly to the glimmer of God’s hope within me.

God makes a way in the wilderness

Exactly a week later, I received a phone call inviting me to an interview at the local university.

In what seemed like God’s perfect timing, I accepted a position as the science department’s administrative assistant at my alma mater.

The transition was rocky, and I remember asking a friend how I would ever fit in when I thought so differently than my co-workers. Their focus was certainly more evidence-based while mine was faith-based.

She reminded me my faith would be a light in the darkness.

To my surprise, the scientists I work with turned out to be more faithful than originally believed, with their selfless generosity, and how they nursed my wounded spirit with encouragement and praise.

Their confidence in me rubbed off enough that I brushed off the ministry that I had founded and left in the dust.

As I healed, I returned to my online “side hustle” ministry I had left for full-time ministry.

In just a year, Intentional Filling has served 70 women through online book studies, helping them to intentionally grow in their faith and calling by being rooted in the Word.

I know God’s ways are mysterious, and certainly not as clear as I would like them to be!

But I’ve also learned He is faithful to show me His path -- one that leads to joy and shares His greatest glory, regardless of a paycheck.

I thought I was called to full-time ministry, but God showed me a different way

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away

Preach faith until you have it

God makes a way in the wilderness

Grieving my mom and allowing God to be the strong one

I searched for my biological grandmother and found my Heavenly Father